by Anony Mouse
Cheder on Wheels
A new cheder is opening in Lakewood its called "Cheder on Wheels", in Hebrew its called yeshivas אלה ברכב .The concept behind it is very simple, said a spokesperson for the STLA "its no secret children in Lakewood are spending more time on the bus than in school". Its more practical to just have the Rebbe get on the bus and teach the kids. In some cases, the Rebbe also drives the bus. Lunch will be provided by Pizza on wheels. Parents are thrilled with this concept and signing up their children, one of the benefits is there is no building fund. Its not an original idea though there has been cheder on wheels even in a building.
New supermarket opening in Lakewood
Food for thought is coming to town
B'H Lakewood has no shortage of kosher supermarkets, but there is always room for those that have no room. Investors are catering to a niche market of customers who dont feel comfortable shopping with others in regular stores. They have phobias preventing them from shopping in public. The food for thought aisle is geared to those on diets that like to shop but cant bring home the food. The shmiras einayim aisle will make it easy for those who dont look up as the prices and items will be printed on the floor. The Kosher aisle will feature products that have no bugs no yoshon and under the approval from Rabbi Yudel shain these shelves will be empty most of the time.
Investigators hopeful to return cash to rightful owner
A large amount of cash was found this week at 3rd street and Clifton avenue, upon further investigation the money was found sometime right after a nearby township zoning meeting. It was unclear if the envelope was dropped on the way in to the meeting or on the way out which will give a clue to who it belongs to.
Better accident pictures coming soon
With daily car accidents unfortunately, the social media sites are competing with each other over who can provide the quickest news and close up image of a car accident. One site promises to have close up gory pictures of accident victims even before hatzolah arrives on the scene.
Shiur Klali now streaming live by First Amendmant Activist
After much success with broadcasting public meetings, Torah shiurim will now be live streamed to Lakewood homes but only on a kosher video platform. Viewers will be able to hock arein via skype but limited to 4 minutes.
First inappropriate advertisement rejected from the billboards
While the digital billboards are not a reality yet, the ads are already pouring in. A local resident took out an add calling on everyone to vote out all incumbents, the ad was to have life like flashing pictures of all current govt board members. The ad was flatly rejected and deemed inappropriate..
Tent city now a option again
Soaring home prices, high end luxurious homes, kollel guys feeling priced out of the market are having second thoughts about closing down tent city. Perhaps it would be an option to live simply and affordably, it would also be a true way of living in the אהלה של תורה
AD: Are you spending your day siting on Rt 9? are you a spouse or a child of a parent that spends their day on Route 9? Our Therapists can treat you! let us transform you from road rage to a road sage! forming now, group sessions or individual ones, let our clinicians help you cope with the stress and give you a better driving experience. Coming soon groups for rt 88, Oak, Cross, Prospect williams,7th street, county Line, Warning: method was not effective for Central ave or Pine street traffic.
Donald Trump to visit Lakewood
The Trumpiest town in NJ deserves a visit from the President. The Donald is expected to pay a short visit to Lakewood were he will continue to push his agenda. A rally is planned for route 9 were he will chant "Drain the Lake" to make room for more housing. He will also attend a asifa about the dangers of Smartphone particularly wire tapping and out of control tweeting. The President will inquire about the load us of building a imaginary wall with the hallachos of gud asik. meeting will take place right before Pesach he will be accompanied by Lakewood reporter the שאינו יודע לשאול.
Amazon to open FBA center in Lakewood
Officials at Amazon said it only makes sense to open a strategic location in the Jersey shore town given the high amount of traffic, vendors and (returns) in the area. The high ranking Execs were given a tour of Lakewood including all botei midrashim, basements, and saw the UPS trucks make their rounds. They were intrigued by the uniqueness and entrepreneurship in Lakewood. Eager to find a suitable place, it was suggested to sign a lease in the upcoming Cedarbridge mall. This is what we meant by Chesed stores said an askan involved with the deal.
A Year later reflecting on the speech
Looking back a philanthropist clarified "when I spoke that we should build institutions i didn't mean supermarkets".
Ad: Nasi Project offers to flash freeze bochurim and skip the 4 months freezer
No nock ordnance for megillah reading .Toms River and Jackson residents will hear megillah in Lakewood since they can not knock by the mention of Hamann name.
A solution for traffic in Lakewood
Ha Ha..
A Freilichen Purim
Cheder on Wheels
A new cheder is opening in Lakewood its called "Cheder on Wheels", in Hebrew its called yeshivas אלה ברכב .The concept behind it is very simple, said a spokesperson for the STLA "its no secret children in Lakewood are spending more time on the bus than in school". Its more practical to just have the Rebbe get on the bus and teach the kids. In some cases, the Rebbe also drives the bus. Lunch will be provided by Pizza on wheels. Parents are thrilled with this concept and signing up their children, one of the benefits is there is no building fund. Its not an original idea though there has been cheder on wheels even in a building.
New supermarket opening in Lakewood
Food for thought is coming to town
B'H Lakewood has no shortage of kosher supermarkets, but there is always room for those that have no room. Investors are catering to a niche market of customers who dont feel comfortable shopping with others in regular stores. They have phobias preventing them from shopping in public. The food for thought aisle is geared to those on diets that like to shop but cant bring home the food. The shmiras einayim aisle will make it easy for those who dont look up as the prices and items will be printed on the floor. The Kosher aisle will feature products that have no bugs no yoshon and under the approval from Rabbi Yudel shain these shelves will be empty most of the time.
Investigators hopeful to return cash to rightful owner
A large amount of cash was found this week at 3rd street and Clifton avenue, upon further investigation the money was found sometime right after a nearby township zoning meeting. It was unclear if the envelope was dropped on the way in to the meeting or on the way out which will give a clue to who it belongs to.
Better accident pictures coming soon
With daily car accidents unfortunately, the social media sites are competing with each other over who can provide the quickest news and close up image of a car accident. One site promises to have close up gory pictures of accident victims even before hatzolah arrives on the scene.
Shiur Klali now streaming live by First Amendmant Activist
After much success with broadcasting public meetings, Torah shiurim will now be live streamed to Lakewood homes but only on a kosher video platform. Viewers will be able to hock arein via skype but limited to 4 minutes.
First inappropriate advertisement rejected from the billboards
While the digital billboards are not a reality yet, the ads are already pouring in. A local resident took out an add calling on everyone to vote out all incumbents, the ad was to have life like flashing pictures of all current govt board members. The ad was flatly rejected and deemed inappropriate..
Tent city now a option again
Soaring home prices, high end luxurious homes, kollel guys feeling priced out of the market are having second thoughts about closing down tent city. Perhaps it would be an option to live simply and affordably, it would also be a true way of living in the אהלה של תורה
AD: Are you spending your day siting on Rt 9? are you a spouse or a child of a parent that spends their day on Route 9? Our Therapists can treat you! let us transform you from road rage to a road sage! forming now, group sessions or individual ones, let our clinicians help you cope with the stress and give you a better driving experience. Coming soon groups for rt 88, Oak, Cross, Prospect williams,7th street, county Line, Warning: method was not effective for Central ave or Pine street traffic.
Donald Trump to visit Lakewood
The Trumpiest town in NJ deserves a visit from the President. The Donald is expected to pay a short visit to Lakewood were he will continue to push his agenda. A rally is planned for route 9 were he will chant "Drain the Lake" to make room for more housing. He will also attend a asifa about the dangers of Smartphone particularly wire tapping and out of control tweeting. The President will inquire about the load us of building a imaginary wall with the hallachos of gud asik. meeting will take place right before Pesach he will be accompanied by Lakewood reporter the שאינו יודע לשאול.
Amazon to open FBA center in Lakewood
Officials at Amazon said it only makes sense to open a strategic location in the Jersey shore town given the high amount of traffic, vendors and (returns) in the area. The high ranking Execs were given a tour of Lakewood including all botei midrashim, basements, and saw the UPS trucks make their rounds. They were intrigued by the uniqueness and entrepreneurship in Lakewood. Eager to find a suitable place, it was suggested to sign a lease in the upcoming Cedarbridge mall. This is what we meant by Chesed stores said an askan involved with the deal.
A Year later reflecting on the speech
Looking back a philanthropist clarified "when I spoke that we should build institutions i didn't mean supermarkets".
Ad: Nasi Project offers to flash freeze bochurim and skip the 4 months freezer
No nock ordnance for megillah reading .Toms River and Jackson residents will hear megillah in Lakewood since they can not knock by the mention of Hamann name.
A solution for traffic in Lakewood
Ha Ha..
A Freilichen Purim
